MONSTER vs. HERO. Why does the debate continue????
by Samuel Weil

(Tromaville, NJ.) You may have noticed recently that the crime rate has fallen dramatically in our beloved town of TROMAVILLE. The streets and alleyways are not safer because of our overpaid and under worked police force, but rather due to the superhuman efforts of our beloved MONSTER-HERO (pictured to the left). Born out of the refuge of a toxic waste dump, this gentle giant has helped to make our community safe again. I can walk the streets at night without fear of being molested by the likes of Cigar Face and his band of miscreants. My friends in the neighborhood no longer have to dodge oncoming cars. Squirrels and pigeons can live in harmony, because even the Capulets and Ques live in fear of his awesome power and the beaches are now only littered with syringes and hospital waste since the Surf Nazis snatched their boards and hightailed it out West. 

Elsewhere on the set of his latest low budget flick , famed blind independent horror director and long-time resident of TROMAVILLE Larry Benjamin said "F**K I want to make a movie about his life. Sh*t forgot I can't say f**k oops... sorry.  Do you know if he is available?" In the background special effect guru Jerry "the gore-meister" was already hard at work scripting out scenes of some of the MONSTER-HERO's best mashing and maiming. While away from the hysteria newest Tromette, the ever sultry Melissa could be heard asking, "Is he married?" 

Apocalypse Inc. meets with City Council
by Michael Herz

(Tromaville, NJ) Yesterday in a very late closed door meeting the Mayor and City Council moved one step closer to finalizing a multi-million dollar deal with Apocalypse, Inc. (AI). Although the exact details of the negotiation were not released, they are said to be revolving around prime real estate  controlled by the City.

Mayor Belgoody (pictured above) seemed overflowing with joy by the progress of the discussions. "When all is said and done, everyone in TROMAVILLE will sleep a little better".  The Mayor and his council are planning a  trip to AI. corporate headquarters in hopes of finalizing a deal. AI's  chairman.....      
                                        
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The local children are also taking up the cause as little Andrew Lerner and his two best friends Brian Spitz and Mark Adams are leading a fund raising drive in support of our new friend by selling t-shirts that say "I    the MONSTER-HERO". Even the town's bully Doug Sakmann has decided to turn the other cheek ... "man he is one ugly dude, but I don't want him to open a toxic can of whoopass on me so I'd be saying my pray and eating my vitamins every day."   

Life is good in TROMAVILLE. Or is it????

This leads me to my next question: with everything so right in TROMAVILLE these days why do these MONSTER vs. HERO debates continue???  Why are scientists and high caliber weapons of mass destruction being brought into our fair community by the truckload???  It harkens back to so some bad sci-fi flick from the 50's, where the powers that be feel they must destroy 1) what they cannot understand and 2) what they can't control. 

Not strangely enough this charge is being lead by our very own  Mayor Belgoody who is bent on using any means necessary to destroy the MONSTER-HERO, rather than enlisting his help.  Our militia-like police force who are lead by the Chief of Police, patrol the street searching for him. Unfortunately, the recent accidental killing of a so-called innocent has given the Mayor the ammunition he needs to secure the force necessary to bring him down. Armed to the teeth with the backing of the National Guard, our MONSTER-HERO seems doomed. 

Weather......................3
Comics.......................9
Sports.......................15
Radiation Count........20

But wait good citizens of TROMAVILLE, this is our call to stand up for what is right and prevent this tyranny from continuing. Let's not forgot how good it has been. During these times as the corrupt wheels of city hall continue to churn and the horror of Reaganomics helps the rich get richer and the poor just stay poor,  we, the common people, need a hero.

Editor: Joe Ritter           Sports: Mitchell Cohen        Make-up Tips: Jennifer Aspinall

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