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NYCHFF 2006: Interview with Director Kevin Shulman and Tony Todd
By
John Marrone

Source:

Oct 26, 2006, 10:55 PM

Friday night was Day 3 of the
NYCHFF - and on this great night - among other things - I was able to sit down and chat with Kevin Shulman and have a discussion about his latest horror short film, and entry into competition, Eyes of Samir.  Eyes of Samir was a gritty, offensive and horrific piece of film that centered on a western reporter waiting for her execution by beheading.  This film did not hold back - in a city where this topic is especially sensitive - and came across well balanced enough so as not to seem exploitative, yet at the same time delivered a very gruesome blow to the deep pit of your stomach.  The beheading was shown in graphic detail and the twist was dead-on horror film.  It also starred Tony Todd, who had appeared in Kevin's entry to last year's NYCHFF - I.O.U. (review).  Tony was also appearing in the full length feature - The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde which was outstanding (we will be covering both this and Eyes of Samir in closer detail in the days to come).

After the screening, I went upstairs to the balcony and sort of stumbled onto the best experience I had the entire festival.  I sat in a small triangle with legendary actor Tony Todd and director Kevin Shulman and had a very casual open discussion about the film, the festival, and the life in the city.  We had a kick ass time just shouting over drinks and shootin the shit.  Here's how it all went down...  I started with a one-on-one conversation with the director of Eyes of Samir, while Tony made his way slowly up the stairs amongst the crowd.

John Marrone:  Everyone here is having an awesome time...  Kevin - share a bit with the readers what you find so unique and enjoyable about this festival in particular...

Kevin Shulman
:  Well - not to name names, but, I do appreciate any venue that treats the filmmaker like the "brother".  It something thats rare.  I like venues that keep it about the genre.  They dont incorporate any anime - they don't incorporate any booths selling autographs - that sort of shit.  This is about the films and the filmmaker.

John Marrone:  I haven't been around maybe as much as you have - but what touches me about the NYCHFF is that its just so fucking accessable to the common fan.  I mean, if I weren't a writer, I'd be here just the same.  And - I mean - I walked in and Tony Todd is sittin there at the bar.  He shakes my hand - he's fuckin nice - he's like, "Hey - are you coming in to see the film?"  And he don't know me from the other 150 holes in the wall.  So - as a fan - that's priceless. 

Kevin Shulman:  Tony's one in a million.  That was why - when everyone says to me, "How did you muster up the balls to go stand in a line and ask for him to do your first film?"  I worked with him on something else on a much lower level.  I was a second unit director on House of Grimm.   I knew from meeting Tony that he was the kind of man that was going to be responsive, and understand the situation, and really give me, uh - he'd hear me out.  So it didnt seem like that big of a risk.

John Marrone:  He's very approachable.

Kevin Shulman:  That and I told Sid Haig to go fuck off!  He was making fun of me up there...  And he liked that. 

John Marrone:  Oh - so what - you ran into Sid Haig and he had this fuckin attiutude with you?

Kevin Shulman:  Yeah - no...  I got up to the front and he was signing autographs right next to him.  And Sid says, "Hey kid - why dont you just beat it!"  So I said, "Nobodys talkin to you fucker!"  And thats when Tony was like - "Ohhh shit!"  And thats how we hit it off...

John Marrone:  Hey man - you want me to leave that out?

Kevin Shulman:  Fuck it.  Put it in. 

John Marrone:  Awesome.  Hey I remember back when I first met you last year, and you were presenting I.O.U..  We talked about Eyes of Samir and you had mentioned that maybe you were going to aim for a feature with this?  What made you decide to go the short route?

Kevin Shulman:  To be completely honest, I lost momentum.  I lost momentum and I had to start over.  I had taken the financing that I had secured for an I.O.U. feature - and it wasn't enough so I said fuck it - lets start over.  Lets do something a little racier - a little cuttier - a little more controversial - and lets try to make a small feature film but start first with a real sick ass short.  And then incorporate those scenes into the actual feature.  So if this takes off - Ive already shot a quarter of it.  But to be honest with you, at this point - this film has already served its purpose - to like no end.  Ever since I started shootin in with the internet - I mean - the casting of this thing was ridiculous because you have to be forthcoming about what the film is about - for the actors on the internet.  Actors were getting wind of it, calling me a fucking asshole...

John Marrone:  Thats a sensitive subject.

Kevin Shulman:  Its a very sensitive subject.  I dont look at it as an exploitive piece.  I dont look at the terrorists, or the muslims, in a derrogatory light.  It paints ALL parties involved in this film as just as faulty as the other ones.  There's this overwhleming social commentary throughout the film, obviously - that the media is perpetuating the war and theyre the ones turning the dials.  And I think thats what steers the film away from simply just being an exploitive piece, you know?  Im happy that the film has already served its purpose.  What we were looking to do was do a feature of it.  But now it looks like Ive got meetings coming up.  Ive got an offer on the table - and Ive got, for the first time in the last four years - I have a life inside the directing world, and Im really really happy about that.  Its thanks pretty much to Jeff Goldberg - who through IOU and Tony Todd saw me, picked me up, and steered me in the right direction.  I just produced my first feature film with Bill Pullman and Taryn Manning called Your Name Here.  Its an homage to the Philip K. Dick uh, kind of, biography, and its a really, really wacky piece.  I know theyre in negotiations right now with New Line...

John Marrone:  Philip K. Dick - thats science fiction - are you a scifi fan?

Kevin Shulman:  Not per say.  Im more of an entirely horror guy.  When I saw the opportunity to bring a great script to the screen, and I knew that I was the only person that could do it with that amount of money - because the budget was very, very limited. 

John Marrone:  Thats the key to successful filmmaking - working within the means of your budget.

Kevin Shulman:  We essentially robbed, cheated, and stole this film.  I mean - this film had a life because of passion - and that was great.  But - to zero back in on Eyes of Samir.  I was posting the film across the way from Mark Jones - from Leprechaun, Rumpelstiltskin - and we're in talks right now to possibly have me do the next Leprechaun film.  Which is an honor - to be able to step in and do a piece of a franchise - but...  Im gonna wait it out though.  Ive got a couple of other things that are planning out, and...  I think I'll probably have that to fall back on. 

---Tony Todd comes up the stairs emptyhanded and looks at Kevin and me drinking and gives a look like, "Where the hells my drink?"  I ask Kevin if he wants to take a break for a second.  Kevin shakes his head as someone grabs Tony's attention and we continue---

John Marrone:  Ive seen the beheading videos of Nicholas Berg and the like - God rest all their souls - there's something about the whole act of beheading someone with a knife that just gets to me worse than anything else.  So I can understand the angle from which youre coming from to disturb the audience.  Ive watched the news and seem some of the comments made form overseas, about the American being the "White Devil".  The ridiculous fucking notion that Americans are the forces of Satan.  There's a point in the film where the executed reporter, while having her head severed off, turns demonic and into "a white devil" or "American Satan".  Are those comments the source from which that idea comes from?

Kevin Shulman:  The back story to what Sarah [the reporter facing execution] is - Sarah is a Djinn.  Djinns are the muslim versions of demons.  Essentially they kidnap the wrong fuckin journalist.  But yeah - that was the idea.  You can see in the beheading scene - the translation is "Forces of Satan - retreat!" - it brings a literal connotation to whats taking place. 

John Marrone:  So yeah - I wont blow smoke up your ass but Eyes of Samir was kickass - sensitive material, insane gore - it honestly bothered me.

Kevin Shulman:  Thank you.  Of all the people, though, that I wanted to like it, was you.  I didn't want to disappoint you. 

John Marrone:  No - thats cool, man.  I appreciate that you respect my point of view. 

Kevin Shulman:  Well - you know, it all goes back to our first conversation here at the festival last year and our mutual appreciation of -

John Marrone:  John Carpenter!  Right!  Right over there by the bar, I remember.  (Which is something in itself because Im a pretty burnt dude and dont remember much of anything)

Kevin Shulman:  Yeah - maybe he'll stop smoking cigarettes - stop playing video games - and make another film. 

John Marrone:  Yeah.  I loved Cigarette Burns, man.

Kevin Shulman:  Yeah I liked Cigarette Burns too but its time - he's got enough properties optioned now.  Do one! 

--Tony Todd is sitting opposite just kind of staring at us blankly, and Kevin notices---

Kevin Shulman:  All right, so...  Im gonna go grab you [Tony] a drink...

--Tony holds his up---

Kevin Shulman:  Oh - you got one.

Tony Todd:  Shit - man.  I wasn't gonna wait for you!

Kevin Shulman:  You guys wanna speak for a bit?

John Marrone:  You know what Tony - I got so much I wanna ask you, I cant get it all in order off the top of my head.

Tony Todd:  You wanna ask me a question?

John Marrone:  Yeah - but shit - how about I just get in touch with you and we'll do a bigger piece.

Tony Todd:  You got my info?  I dont have a card...

John Marrone:  If its OK Ill get it from Kevin later - you guys just have fun tonight, shit.

Tony Todd:  Where are you from?

John Marrone:  House of Horrors.

Kevin Shulman:  Yeah - he's the guy - they gave IOU a fantastic rating.  Fantastic review.

Tony Todd:  Yeah - anytime, John.  Anytime.

John Marrone:  Great!  ---I raise my glass in his direction---  Cheers man.  Much respect - great fuckin work. 

Tony Todd:  Thanks man.

John Marrone:  I thought you were from New York?

Tony Todd:  I am.  I used to bartend on 43rd and 9th.  Back in my strugglin, strugglin, strugglin days!

John Marrone:  Shit Im still strugglin worse than that still!  (we all laugh)

Tony Todd:  Ha - well - me too.  Its not like, you know....  You see what happened to Snipes?

John Marrone:  No - what happened.

Kevin Shulman:  Theyre up his ass for 6 million, or something like that - tax evasion.

John Marrone:  Sounds like a head hunt...

Kevin Shulman:  Yeah - and you know he's not gonna be in the general population.

Tony Todd:  And you know - mother fucker's prison time isnt gonna be easy.  Everybodys gonna be walkin up to him goin, "Hey, New Jack!  New Jack!!"

(laughs)

Kevin Shulman:  The other thing I wanna add - Ive said this before - and Id just like to make it very clear...

Tony Todd:  There you go - running your mouth again!

Kevin Shulman:  ...This is the premiere horror film festival in the country.  This is the final word.  Its about the filmmaker.  And theres really only a few festivals in the country that matter.  Screamfest is one of them.  But the NYCHFF is the premiere horror film festival in the US.

John Marrone:  There's no gimmicks.

Kevin Shulman:  Exactly - there's no booths.  We're not in Universal Studios.  We're not doin the fuckin....  Michael Hein and Anthony Pepe - I know they know what they've created but I dont think they realize actually how big this thing is going to be.  This is the one.   Now, Europe - thats a different story.  We did Dead By Dawn - with IOU - in Scotland. 

John Marrone:  Thats right.  I remember you mentioning, Tony and you flew there.  How'd IOU get recieved over there?

Kevin Shulman:  We did all right...

Tony Todd:  Did he tell you that he almost got his ass kicked?

John Marrone:  Did he?  What was he runnin his mouth?

Kevin Shulman:  That is pure speculation. 

Tony Todd:  You edited that shit out.

Kevin Shulman:  Of what?  Of that conversation?

Tony Todd:  Youre a punk!  He's a punk.

Kevin Shulman:  I am a punk.

Tony Todd:  He's gonna get his ass kicked again.

John Marrone:  --Referring to Kevin's mohawk--  You know what - hey Kevin - if youre gonna do that shit you gotta shave it down to the skin on the sides....

Tony Todd:  Yeah, you know man?  Its the little things...

Kevin Shulman:  I did.  I had one.  Its growin in.

Tony Todd:  You HAD one?  Now you look like Fluffy the Squirrel.

Kevin Shulman:  Im sorry we all can't be fuckin Pepe LePue with the beret. 

Tony Todd:  ...Im gonna give you a pass.  Im gonna let you get away with that one, but dont think Ill forget...  I love kicking directors asses.

John Marrone:  Do you?

Tony Todd:  I really do.

---The hardyharhars settle down for a couple of seconds and I get my last questions in, as the music and roar of the crowd is making it difficult for us to hear each other---

John Marrone:  Tony - I do have a quick question.  Im a big fan of the horror shorts - and it seems there are very few big name actors or actresses that get involved in this scene.  Last year you were in IOU - this year you were in Eyes of Samir - both by Shulman.  Can you share a bit why you gravitate towards a filmmaker like Kevin? 

Tony Todd:  What am I supposed to do - wait for Snakes on a Plane?  (laughs)  No - as you know - Kevin wrote and directed both shorts - IOU and Eyes of Samir.  We met on the set of a movie called House of Grim.  And no Kevin - Im not gonna call you a PA - you werent a PA - but anyway, he had the hutzpa - and I read his script and I liked his vision.  So - I like taking chances with new filmmakers, soon to make their dynamic mark in the film world.  And I think - I like doing independents, so...  All kinds.  Not just horror.  I just love working.  So it was an easy gamble. And let me say just one thing - all you filmmakers out there - just keep doing your thing.  Tell the stories - write the scripts - keep your eyes open.  Theres some amazing stuff out there.  I was really impressed by the work I saw tonight. 

Kevin Shulman:  Yeah - I think Tony is at the point in his career where he's looking not to rely so much on lasting relationships he's had with previous directors, and he realizes he's been working long enough in the game to have a side career that 99.9% of the world has never even fathomed.  You know?  I mean how fuckin lucky am I to be working with a great actor in Hollywood.  Its something that everybody dreams about.  But you cant rest there.  You cant rest on - you have to continue to build new relationships - continue to really take chances - and I think I embody, hopefully, one of those chances.

John Marrone:  No - Kevin - what I liked about Eyes of Samir as opposed to most of these shorts that have been shown - personally - was that it was shot in a way that was really gritty.  It brought things down to like a street level. 

Kevin Shulman:  The editor of the film is Tanner Stauss.  Im privledged to have such an awesome circle in the film community - and he's an editor that I plan to work with from here on in.  On everything.  He cut IOU.  I mean - that just goes to show you his range.  Theyre two totally different looking films.  Im very proud to be here in New York City for the premiere - and Im very proud to be part of this festival. 

---Kevin at some point becomes distracted by fans and picture takers so I raise my glass to Tony, who's sitting opposite me, and cheers once again---

John Marrone:  I think you got a good keen eye on whats coming up - Kevin's work really stands out.

Tony Todd:  Yeah, I hope he appreicates it.  I really do...   No.  Kevin's a good guy...  (Tony is looking around at the crowd which is settling down a bit, but only slightly...)  Look at this place - whats going on - its already thinned out.

John Marrone:  Yeah - it'll crank back up definitely.  You never really know.  Sometimes - no matter whats going on - it just depends on that randomness of who has a 20 dollar bill in their pocket...

Tony Todd:  Yeah - but this is New York City - you drop a 20 dollar bill on a little Metro card!

John Marrone:  Tony - I pay 1800 in rent and make somewhere around 2200 a month.  Figure that out - I have to work miracles every month.  Im broker in this city than anywhere - I had to smuggle rum in!  You probably remember what thats like...

Tony Todd:  No - I do.  I do.  I hear you.  Like freakin Long Island...

John Marrone:  Im from Long Island.  Thats the only bad part about the island - its too much about finances.  The dating scene for me is about non-existent.  Its a shame - it doesnt matter if youre a good guy or not - do you have dollars?

Tony Todd:  You know - before I did my first film - I used to just walk in New York City.  All through the village...  And those were great days.

John Marrone:  Candyman days?

Tony Todd:  No - before that.  I was doin a lot of theater, right?  Nobody knew me.  Can't do that now.  Subway stations...  Forget about it.  But yeah - the money situation?  The rents too high.  Gotta go to Connecticut or upstate New York and just take the Metro in for an hour and a half and youre good to go.

John Marrone:  I dont know - still too pricey for me.  Ive lived 6 of my last 10 years out in Ohio - got my Mortuary Science degree - but goddamn I missed New York City and I can't really put it into words why.  Do you have any plans to come back to the city?

Tony Todd:  Oh yeah!  My second son - he's 17.  One more year.  He's gonna go to school in Boston - after that Im back to the city.  I love this city.  Love it.  You ever been to Vinnie's on the upper west side?  One of my favorite pizza joints.

John Marrone:  Which one there's like 100 Vinnie's.

Tony Todd:  Right I forgot.  Its on 73rd and Amsterdam.  I know a lotta people are always like this about their pizza - but thats is one of the best pieces of pizza Ive ever tasted. 

John Marrone:  How long have you been gone?

Tony Todd:  Ive been living out in LA for too long.  About 7 years.  I mean - if I had to choose between Ohio and LA - Id choose LA.  But - its too phony. 

John Marrone:  Yeah - and everyone knows it.  You're either in la-la land, or you like stress and reality. 

Tony Todd:  Even the la-la part, living out in Beverly Hills - its not all its cut out to be.  Got a beautiful house up there - go downstairs - there's a huge freakin rat in my grill.  A rat.

John Marrone:  Shoulda just fired that baby up!

Tony Todd:  No shit!  I go to get my brother - come back - five minutes later, that fucker is still in my grill!  Its the little things, man!  So - it aint all that.  Where I grew up we didnt have rats in the grill. 

John Marrone:  There's so much hype involved with money places - where you live.  Like The Hamptons.  You ever make it out there?  They are "out of touch".

Tony Todd:  Thats all about people wanting to be fuckin posey, man.  Posers.  What I love about New York City is that there's a little bit of everything - like the dive bars.  It builds character.  Cause Im a writer, too, right?  It just speaks real character.

John Marrone:  Right.  I mean you can sit on the train.  Have a white guy, a black guy, a chinese dude - you know - a muslim, a catholic, and a satanist - and theyre all talkin the Yankees.  Nobodys really caught up in that "shit".  Thats whats beautiful about this city.  I mean, even with all the muslim, east west crap going on - you can still bring a film like Eyes of Samir to this city, and youre not going to get a hwole bunch of pissy people going, "How can you portray Muslims in that light!"  "How can you try to sensationalize a horrific event like that?"  Its just a great example of how things can be - regardless of political, cultural, or religious differences.

Tony Todd:  It truly is the melting pot. 

John Marrone:  Is it like that out in LA?

Tony Todd:  No.  No.  People sit in their cars.  They dont intergrate like out here.  No - you know what?  I just hop in the car - get the shit I need - go home - play my Xbox...

John Marrone:  Xbox!  Awesome - what games to you like on the Xbox?

Tony Todd:  Table Tennis right now.  Diggin Table Tennis right now. 

John Marrone:  You do Halo?

Tony Todd:  No.  Too overhyped for me.  I like the sports.  Im playing NBA2K, Table Tennis - shit like that.

John Marrone:  Its been great talkin with you Tony.

Tony Todd:  My brotha...

John Marrone:  I hope I dont sound like Im kissin ass - Im not a kiss ass kinda guy...

Tony Todd:  I can tell youre not.  I know...

John Marrone:  I loved Candyman - Minotaur...

Tony Todd:  You saw Minotaur?

John Marrone:  Hell yeah.

Tony Todd:  Where - they have that here last year?

John Marrone:  Caught it on SciFi.  No - just big fan of the roles you play.  Always givin a good, red eyed, stress teary performance - like even in that X-Files episode where you never slept - Shadow, IOU...

Tony Todd:  I didnt have a teary eye in Shadow.

John Marrone:  Yes you did.

Tony Todd:  No I did not.

John Marrone:  Yes you did man, when you were laying on the fuckin execution table, when they were gonna kill you...

Tony Todd:  Well...  Wouldn't YOU!?

Friday night was a lot of fun.  We all continued to sit there and drink, and the party didn't thin out - it got extremely packed.  Pretty soon a very tall familiar man was walking up the stairs and sat down with us.  It was none other than Ken Foree from 1978's Dawn of the Dead.  Ken was extremely friendly as well - and didn't have an attitude at all.  Probably sick to death of hearing fans tell him how much they loved him in Dawn of the Dead, he was still very gracious and polite when I gave him my kudos.  So that was Friday late night at the NYCHFF 2006.  Unfortunately, I missed the premiere of Tobe Hoopers' Masters of Horror entry - The Damned Thing (
review) - and his appearance for the live Q & A - but how could I pass an opportunity to sit there with one of my favorite up and coming horror directors, his girlfriend (who was as sweet as she was beautiful), Ken Foree, and my favorite horror actor of all time, Tony Todd.  I hope you enjoyed the candid interview.  I hope to be in touch with Tony in the very near future - and get back to you all with a kick ass in-depth interview.  Thanks again to Michael Hein and Anthony Pepe just for bringing the New York City Horror Film Festival to life, and the House of Horrors Caretaker for having me attend, and giving a fan like me the opportunity to meet one of my only idols in the business. 

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NYCHFF 2006: Live Q&A with Author Jack Ketchum
By
John Marrone

Source:

Oct 25, 2006, 8:11 PM

-
trailer (quicktime)

Chris Siverston's adaptation of Jack Ketchum's novel The Lost was screened at the NYCHFF on Thursday night.  A story about Ray Pye, suburban teens, and mass murder.  Its chock full of incredibly hot chicks (including Robin Sydney who will burn your pants off) - sex, drugs, rock and roll, and some of the most disturbing violence brought to the big screen in a long time.  Author Jack Ketchum was in the audience and watched the film along with all who attended, and following the credits, festival director Michael Hein introduced him to everyone in the theater - where he took center stage and answered questions from the audience.

Michael Hein:  I would like to introduce the man who wrote The Lost - the man who created Ray Pye and that insanity...  Mr. Jack Ketchum...  (applauds) - And for those of you who didn't like the movie - pick up the book...

Jack Ketchum:  Yes - in the ending credits, the last card is, "If you don't like the movie - buy the book."  (laughs)  Did you guys have fun?  A little different, yes?

Q:  I heard the movie was a true story.  How much did the movie follow what really happened?

Jack Ketchum:  Uh, very closely.  I wrote the book based on a story that happened in a different place and a different time.  But what they did was they took my book and made it very, very close to the film.  So, its like two steps away from the actual crime.  But Ray Pye actually existed.  He did put the goddam crushed beer cans in his boots.  He was that kind of idiot.

Q:  What state did Ray Pye live in?

Jack Ketchum:  ...Damn - I think it was Wisconsin?  I think...  But you know what?  A great reference source - Bloodletters and Bad Men by Jay Robert Nash.  I've stole...  I should be paying him.  I've taken little bits and pieces from all of his stuff.  There's a great three volume edition of American crime going all the way back to the Revolutionary War straight up to now.  Nash is great.  So - you can look up Charles "Smitty" Schmid (here's his Wikipedia profile) - that's the real Ray Pye.

Q:  The writing was great in this movie - especially the dialogue.  The scene at the table when theyre on that date and having that Q & A back and forth just blew me away.  I was wondering how much of it was taken from the actual novel?

Jack Ketchum:  That was all taken from the book.  (long pause)  ...and...  was the dialogue I had... with a woman, once...  (everyone laughs because the male character they're referring to was a complete psycho) 

Q:  Talk about the title - The Lost?

Jack Ketchum:  The Lost.  Actually the book was set in the 1960's.  There was a notion that, there were people who went to war in Vietnam, the people who went to college durin' Vietnam, and there were people in the middle - and those were "the lost".  So, they couldn't, in the film - they didnt think they they could actually do the period.  That was strictly money.  They still got the idea down, I think.  That there are people in the middle who are just not... they dont go anywhere.  These kids - theyre all going nowhere - theyre "the lost". 

Q:  There was a handsome bartender...  (everyone laughs - the bartender in The Lost was played by Jack Ketchum)...  What amount of research did you do while preparing for this role? 

Jack Ketchum:  (laughing)  No - I did!  I did do research!   My neighborhood bartender told me exactly how to pour - to hold it exactly right...   Thank you...

Q:  Did the producer and director of this approach you from the start - did they seek out your blessing before they went ahead with this?

Jack Ketchum:  Lucky McKee came to me and said he wanted to do this.  And - I didn't know...  At the time - I had been getting a lot of DVDs from people who were totally untalented.  They were just awful.  And I said, "Oh shit - here's another one - his name is Lucky!  Fuckin, Lucky!"  But I put in his DVD and finally like after a month I played it, and Im like, "This guy's really good!"  And I said, "OK - whatever he wants Ill do it."  And he basically bought this for his best friend - Chris Siverston - to direct.  Chris did the black and white thing in May, if you've seen May.  Chris sent me an initial screenplay which was very, very good - very close to the book.  He even wanted the cat in there - if you read the book there's a cat, which would have added 20 minutes to the story.  They did just great all across the board.  I just said to Lucky recently - uh - he's going to be shooting Red (another Jack Ketchum novel).  And I said, "Why don't you just option everything I own - just option everything."  'Cause these guys are so damned good - they're real - they're nice people.

Q:  Can you talk a little about the casting process?

Jack Ketchum:  I had nothing to do with the casting process and that's good!  No - because I wouldn't have casted the people that they did cast.  I thought that Ed Lauter was a little too old to play that part.  And that proves to me that they're right - because when I saw it - he's fine.  Its good sometimes to just sit back and just let ...

Q:  How about Ray Pye?  Were you satisfied with who played him?

Jack Ketchum:  Oh - completely.  Uh - evidentally, the story goes that the guy who played Ray Pye - when he walked in to audition (Marc Senter) - he already had stuff in his shoes.  So he was all lurchin around like this - and I said, oh yeah, we gotta get him.  That's the guy. 

Q:  Is there any part of the film that scares the shit out of you after seeing it?

Jack Ketchum:  The end fucks me up!  (people laugh and agree)  I watched the end - every time I watch the end - even tonight - it still fucks me up.  Its so intense.  I wish I could have been a fly on the wall that night, when they were shooting that last sequence.  Everybody - all the actors were working so damned hard to get that intensity down.  Even the people who were just in [the ending scene] for the day.  The couple!  It blew me away!

Q:  In terms of the word "fly" - it seemed that whenever Ray was feeling a violence attack coming on, he heard this fly - whats the significance of that?

Jack Ketchum:  Actually Chris [the director] told me about this one - he said that he had a couple of tricks, that he did.  One trick was - the fly thing.  It started when they were outside, early on, his first kill - and the girl slaps a mosquito or fly...

Q:  Is that in the book?

Jack Ketchum:  Yeah.  Well - sort of.  Well - let me finish the question.  The second thing was sort of in the same area.  If you notice - if you watch this a second time - every character has their own color.  Theyre color coded characters.  Ray is black.  Katherine is red.  Jennifer is yellow - because its sort of neutral.  And they did things like that - which are sort of subliminal - but they work.  And I thought that was so smart.

Q:  Any other books that you've done that are based on a true story like this one?

Jack Ketchum:  Pretty much everything that I do is based on a true story.  I did one novel called "She Waits", which is a supernatural novel.  Ive done a few short stories which are supernatural.  Ive done a few ghost stories.  But basically what scares me is...  you assholes.  (laughs)  And why youre here - and why you laugh at Ray Pye.  But - yeah - I basically like to write stuff thats based in reality.

Q:  One thing I like about genre conventions are the fresh ideas.  Take for instance the cops in the movie.  From the beginning - they knew who the murderer was.  They were just fucking with him, until they caught him.  And I love that.  In a normal movie (I think he means "Hollywood") at the climax of the film, the cops would finally figure it out, its Ray, but he has the girls and they get there right before he starts killing them, and they capture him.  Could you talk about that and maybe some other things that just like break the genre mold...

Jack Ketchum:  In my books and in my stories, I want to go against what your expectations are.  I received a compliment somewhere in an interview or something, where someone said, "What you expect to happen, doesnt." 

Q:  Stephen King.

Jack Ketchum:  He said that?  He's said so much damn stuff - great man that he is.  I dunno, I just -

Q:  I think what he said was, "Simply the best working in the business today."

Jack Ketchum:  Thank you - but to your question - what I was after was - something that was simply, um , you wouldnt expect.  I dont want you to ever be able to outguess me.  What would you do?  I always ask myself that question.  What would I do?  What would you do?  What would my reader do?  And - am I making myself true to the reader?  If I am, Im alluring you.  If im not - Im losing you.  Unless youre a lazy reader. 

Q:  So whats next?

Jack Ketchum:  Oh shit.  I've got a short story collection called "Closing Time and Other Stories" and that should be coming out very soon.  There's a small novella, called "Weed Species" - its probably the nastiest piece of work Ive ever written.  Its just - I mean - there's just one person in this entire book that you might want to sit down and talk to.  Everybody else sucks.  The notion is that, human beings are kudzu - were kudzu - weed species.  Well - a lot of us are.  And so - that will be out next month. 

Over the last couple of months Jack Ketchum has captured my attention as an outstanding horror author.  If youre looking for a heavy horror piece to read sometime soon, look up Ketchum's novels on Amazon.com because like Stephen King says, he is the best thing going in horror right now.  I was a bit skeptical going in to see The Lost - wondering how effective Ketchum's story will be allowed to be on the big screen - with censorship issues a major hurdle when producing a film.  Chris Siverston's film captured the grit and tension of the novel, and blew all our minds with an ending that will probably never make it out to mainstream theaters.  When you get a chance to see The Lost - grab it.  Its absofuckinglutely gripping, intense, and disturbing. 

Visit the OFFICIAL SITE for The Lost

 


 

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Interview: Michael Ruggiero (Going To Pieces)
By
Dave Dreher

Source:

Oct 17, 2006, 9:40 PM

Hopefully you all listened to me and checked out the STARZ presentation of Going To Pieces: The Rise and Fall of the Slasher Film when it aired this past weekend.  If you didn’t it will be showing again on the STARZ channel and you really need to get STARZ if you don’t already have it and check out this great homage to the slasher film.  I got to have a quick talk with Michael Ruggiero who produced the special and is also the man behind FEARFEST ‘06 which is airing through the haunt season on STARZ.  

HoH: I’ve seen Going To Pieces and it just freaking rocks.  This is a documentary that every horror fan needs to see.  What was the catalyst for producing this special?

MR: Being a lifelong horror fan myself, I had been working at IFC and we did a documentary call American Nightmare and I was always proud of having been at IFC when that was done.  I had a bit of a hand in it just a kind of silent advisor and that film kind of covered the 70's .

HoH: I didn’t realize you had a hand in that.

MR: Well, you won’t see my name in the credits but I was at IFC and kind of the resident horror geek and the folks behind the show they were coming to me and asking “hey, what do you think about this and so on.  It was produced by a British company and I thought that it came out great and we got to thinking, why not do a sequel to that but cover the 80's .  The 80's were when I grew up and I am a big fan of the slasher film and that is when I befriended Tom (Savini) back in the 80's working for Creation conventions doing the Fango shows so Tom and I have known each other from like 1980 from me working those things and being a big fan of his work so that is the era when I grew up and those have always been my favorite horror films.  So now here I am working for STARZ, the VP of original production and on this pile of potential project is this documentary about slasher films based on this book by Adam Rockoff, which is a great book so I moved that project to the top of the pile and started really rallying to make it THE project to work on.  For me, it was a dream project and I got to go right to work on it almost as soon as I got to STARZ about a year and a half ago and here I am now about to premiere this thing in Hollywood.

HoH: It was great seeing so many of the old clips that you compiled.  I, like you came of age in the 80's and I had forgotten about some of these films you dug up.  Films like PIECES and MOTHER’S DAY.

MR: Oh man, PIECES was brutal man (laughs)

HoH: How were you able round up the talent you have on board?

MR: Well, we had great producers and they took on the task of talent booking and I used some of my relationships, certainly Tom, he and I get along so well and he trusts my decisions so he jumped on a plane and came on out and he is fantastic in this and I think we were really able to get him to open up and reveal some stuff that he has never really said before or maybe even thought of before.  We had him for a whole day and were just hitting him right and left with questions and really got him to think about and recall things that people haven’t heard before and I like to think that we have tapped into some new information.

HoH: Where did you film the segments at?

MR: We shot at a ranch in the Hollywood hills.  I was told it was the ranch were The Devil’s Rejects was shot.  It has a certain authenticity to it.

HoH: I could tell you guys tried to give it that Camp Crystal Lake look.

MR: It was perfect.  We had a little pond there.  A lot of great visuals there.

HoH: Any plans to release the show on DVD?

MR: It will come out on DVD.  We partnered with Think Films and they’ll be handling the DVD release.  It will probably come out sometime late spring.

HoH: I reported a few weeks back about STARZ and IDT merging into one monster company.  What’s the story behind that?

MR: Yeah, it’s a little bit ironic that STARZ will now be producing Masters of Horror for Showtime.  It’s great though joining forces with them and it will lead to a lot of great programming

HoH: It’s going to be great.  Any chance that STARZ might be the first to give us all a much need all horror programming channel?

MR: It has been tossed around for years and there was even a few times I thought it might actually happen but there really isn’t enough product to make a true linear channel, not VOD or something like that, we really didn’t have quite enough product to make it run.  It would have been a real skimpy thing and if we’re going to do it, we’re going to do it right.  There are a couple of other out there trying to make it work but it really comes down to having enough product to make it work.

HoH: Well, I would love to see Going To Pieces become a trademark thing for STARZ, something that would you guys could update every year.

MR: Thanks, I appreciate that.  There are so many genres that I would love to do.  I would love to do Zombies, do one on Vampire films, all the sub genres of horror films.

HoH: And to do it with the completeness and obvious love for the genre, well for me viewing Going to Pieces was just like sitting down with a bunch of fellow fans and talking about the great films that have made us the fans we are.

MR: I’m glad to hear you say that because that is the truth of this show.  It was made for horror geeks by horror geeks and to STARZ’S credit, they didn’t ask me to take anything out.

HoH: Yeah, the blood flows freely.

Click here to head on over to the STARZ website where you can check out the schedule of films and see when you can once again view Going to Pieces.  You want to make it a priority to check this out.


 

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HoH Exclusive: Interview: Christopher Bond (Evil Dead The Musical)
By
Caretaker

Source:

Oct 2, 2006, 6:33 PM

Recently, we had an opportunity to sit down with Christopher Bond, the co-director and co-creator of Evil Dead The Musical. The following is our interview with man who is bringing the latest incarnation of Evil Dead to the fans.

 

House of Horror (HoH): Tell us fans a little bit about yourself and your love for the genre?

 

Christopher Bond (CB): I was born and raised in Toronto and went to school for theater. There I really got into the arts and I took a drama and film medial that was more focused on film. During this time, the genre I loved the most was horror and it was because of Evil Dead. The thing I love about Evil Dead is that I think Sam Raimi really pioneered a new vision for horror by mixing it with comedy. It was more slapstick and just off the wall fun with a three stooges influence and blood guzzling out in all different colors. I also love all of George Romero's work and even get into the old school classics like Friday the 13th and TCM. Recently I have been getting into the more ghetto stuff like Cabin Fever which I kind of see as an open love letter to Sam Raimi.

 

HoH: Tell us a little bit about where the idea for Evil Dead The Musical came from?

 

CB: The way it all shook down is that I was performing in a lot of theater and in one particular show, The Rocky Horror Show. I saw all these fans who really weren’t your traditional theater types coming out each night. It was kind like a cult and these same people were fans of the genre [Horror]. I thought to myself that I would love to come up with my own show that would have a cult following. I loved horror and thought how cool would it be to get horror geeks like myself to the theater.

 

Well it wasn’t easy, so I spent a lot of time going over what I thought would be fun. It was really Evil Dead 2 which I had seen many times that I thought had the basis for what could be a fabulous musical. You have this great setting in the cabin where all the action takes place. The cabin itself is the biggest character in the show. You have these great stereotypical horror characters which is a lot of fun. There is the iconic hero Ash who is just throwing out these witty heroic lines. He is the ultimate protagonist and I saw him as a hero and what does a hero need more than a song? There are hordes of zombies assaulting the cabin and what would be more fun that when they were attacking, they are singing too. 

 

So I partnered with George Reinblatt, the writer, who was a comedy writer for the Just for Laughs Festival in Canada and I asked him what he thought of Evil Dead 2. He said “why don’t we just make all the Evil Deads?”, because the first films had some great characters. That is why the show was original called Evil Dead 1 & 2: The Musical. We took the five college students from the first film and three additional characters from the second film and mashed them together to make this great story with music. So George began writing scenes and I wrote a bit of music and it all began to come together. The great thing about Evil Dead is when you mention to people what you are working on, everyone wants to get involved. So we never had a problem finding people to build sets,  do effects, or even sing. We didn’t have any money, because we were just a bunch of kids right out of university, but we were fortunate enough to have a lot of friends that were dying to get involved with this project. It has that appeal, the same appeal that brings in the audience. The show has slowly been evolving over the last four years and we’ve changed the ending to include the S-Mart ending so now we have all three movies and is now known as Evil Dead The Musical. The show has really evolved from the days when we performed in a bar (Tranzac) in Canada to Off-Broadway. Now we have added even more music, the best talent you can find, and even more blood than you can ever dream of.

 

HoH: What can horror fans and in particular Evil Dead fans come to expect when they come to see the show?

 

CB: They can expect one thing for sure, that we are going to give them the films. We taken great care in staying true to the films and when you have such passionate fans as Evil Dead does, you can deviate for one second, but they have to understand that we are taking it to the next level by musicalizing everything and it is very campy. We promise you will have a few drink and we are going to hose down the audience with lots of blood. The fans are going to get everything that they could ever possibly want from a musical of their favorite movie. There is no baloney. It is the films and a lot of jokes pumped into and all the gore they could ever want. They will see all their favorite scenes from Ash cutting his hand off to Linda’s decapitation. This is every Evil Dead fans’ wildest dream come to life. Anyone who isn’t a fan of the films or even musicals, but loves seeing something that you can laugh your ass off and have a great time, this show is for you as well. If you are a fan, you will come out very satisfied. It is our honor to put on this show and bring this great cultural icon to life on the stage. I would be disappointed in any Evil Dead fan if he/her didn’t come and check us out and I know if they do, they are going to love it and come back another 4 or 5 times. It is going to be the most amazing musical any horror fan has ever seen.

       

HoH: You spoke earlier about the cabin being the main character of the show, tell us a little bit about it?

 

CB: It blew me away that the Tony award-winning set designer David Gallo is just as big an Evil Dead fan as we are and to have a guy who is going to design the cabin be an Evil Dead junkie was amazing. He really got it from day one and knew exactly what we were looking for and all the icons that were in the cabin that are from the movies, we got them. We are talking about the lamp and the deer or in our case the Canadian Moose. The lamp comes alive, as well as, the books and the clock. All the bits and pieces that only the fans would know. We even have a little Freddy Krueger glove hanging over the door just like in the shed. We have a Rocky Horror Show poster of that musical just like they had with the Hills Have Eyes poster. Every little thing you would want to see in the cabin is there and the best part is that it all comes to life right before your eyes.

 

HoH: We hear that the effects in the show are amazing. What can the fans expect to see?

 

CB: We are also fortunate enough to have a guy named Louis Zakarian heading our special effects and mask design. He’s a guy who has worked for NBC on Saturday Night Live and Conan. Our zombies look amazing. The great mask and blood work we are doing, along with all the blood flying around the audience will blow the fans away. The first two rows in the theater are know as the “Splatter Zone” and anyone with tickets there shouldn’t be wearing their best Armani to the show, because they are going to get some blood splashed on them. It is going to be a blast.

 

HoH: We have read that Bruce Campbell helped you secure the right for this new incarnation of Evil Dead. Is this true?

 

CB: When we were first getting the show off the ground it not easy getting permission to do this kind of thing. So we contacted Bruce through his webpage and explained what we were doing up here in Canada, that we were writing this show and putting out our own money into it. It was small and we were a bunch of students, but we were taking it very serious, because we were such big fans. We explained how we had a background in writing, theater, and production. We than went on to ask who we need to talk to and Bruce was actually quite helpful in pointing us in the right direction. I am not saying that he pulled any strings, but the people we spoke with were very helpful in accommodating our request and getting us information. The legal stuff took a very long time since all the films are owned by different entities. In the beginning, they were very cool in letting us try new things out. Now with our move to off-Broadway, we have worked with Sam’s people and they have been very helpful. Bruce later sent us an email congratulating us on our success.

 

HoH: We know what a DEADITE is in the movies, but I have read that you consider those who attend the show DEADITES. What is a DEADITE to you?

 

CB: A DEADITE is a true fan of the Evil Dead culture. They are the ones that are going make this show; sink or swim, because if they aren’t happy than this show doesn’t do well. These are the fans that we hope are going to come out and support us. I haven’t had an Evil Dead fan come up to me and say that we haven’t done the films justice. We hope they get involved and spread the word to other fans. This show is for the fans.

 

HoH: Can you share with us the process of bring this production to New York?

 

CB: It took a long time. The first couple of runs were in Toronto and we were fortunate enough to do the Just for Laugh Comedy Festival in Montreal where we were showcased to producers from around the world. The guy who really stepped up and got what we were doing and who came up with a way to make the show work in NYC while still giving us the artistic freedom we needed as far as staying true to the films was William Franzblau. He has had a lot of successes in NYC and he isn’t a guy who has just done Broadway and in theater. He has a lot of experience working in the Rock n’ Roll arena and has taken a lot of show on tour. He really gets the show and knows that it isn’t just a bit of theater, but a rocking bloody musical experience. It took a lot of time. We’ve re-written the show and added the AOD ending. It also took a lot of time working out the legality just to secure the rights. We really have beefed up things, added more special effects and hired the right people, but I actually think it worked out well, because we are launching the show in the fall and Halloween is right around the corner.

 

But I will tell you this much, as far as a fan goes, it doesn’t matter if you are a fan of the films or not, you are going to love it, because the show is great. It is a lot of fun. The jokes are fast and furious. The songs are catchy and will linger in your head for days to follow. Yeah it took a few extra years to develop the show and get it to where we are today, but we are thrilled to be here and we are getting some great buzz in NYC. I am pretty confident that we are going to deliver on what the fans have been waiting for.

 

HoH: When does the show open and how long is the run?

 

CB: We are opening previews to the public on Monday October 2nd at the New World Stage at 340 West 50th Street between 8th and 9th avenue in Manhattan. The official opening for the show begins on Wednesday, November 1st and is set for an unlimited run. Tickets are available at the box office or online at our official site EvilDeadtheMusical.com.

 

We would like to thank Christopher for taking the time to speak with us and wish him all the success in the world with the musical. We know that we will be there for many shows.

 

                                                               


 

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HoH Exclusive Interview - Max Brooks (World War Z)
By
Dave Dreher

Source:

Sep 24, 2006, 9:42 PM

World War Z is Max Brooks latest foray into the Zombie sub genre.  I reviewed the book last week,
click here for that, and the other day I got to have a chat with Mr. Brooks about his excellent work, the zombie genre as a whole and growing up with a famous dad.  Enjoy the interview:

DD:  Just finished World War Z and I have to tell ya, it was excellent.

MB:  Well, thank you, thanks a lot.

DD:  So, what is with the zombie fascination?  This is your second book in the zombie sub genre, is it just a fan fascination?

MB:  It’s a fan fascination but it is also a human fascination because the mindlessness of a zombie, the singularity of purpose, I think that is what terrifies me.  The fact that there is no middle ground, no negotiation, the fact that they will come to you, you don’t have to go looking for them.  The fact that they will just grow and spread.  I mean it is literally like if you could take a killer virus put it on legs and send it out into the world, it would be a zombie.

DD:  I think it is great how you have rooted the book in the “Romero” world of the zombies.

MB:  I’m a huge fan of George Romero as much for his political commentary as for his zombie’s and I think unfortunately a lot of people who have come after Romero have forsaken any type of social commentary for just chomping on entrails and that’s fine but I like to go a little bit deeper.  The only place I part company with Romero is on zombie intelligence and I understand Romero’s point of view, as a film maker he has to adapt, he has to grow so there fore his zombies become more intelligent become more organized, develop emotions but for me the less intelligent the less human they become the more terrifying they are to me.

DD:  Exactly and I know for me and maybe for some other fans out there that Land of the Dead just didn’t work.

MB:  Well for me, I loved Land of the Dead but I can understand why some didn’t.  They kind of like having their enemies black and white and it was a very grey movie in that way. 

DD:  I mean really, in that film the worst person in it was the Dennis Hopper character, a human.  You actually cheered when the zombie killed the human.  You were rooting for the zombie.

MB:  Yeah, you may be right.  I think that might be the reason that a lot of people didn’t care for Day of the Dead because Bub the zombie was a much more sympathetic character then Rhodes.  But for me, I just love watching Romero as a film maker, he explores different ideas and how he grows as a film maker.

DD:  Nobody is going to argue that point with you.  Romero is a legend when it comes to the zombie genre.  I have to tell you though.  With this book your name could become as attached to the zombie genre as his has. 

MB:  I should be so lucky to even be included in the same category as him.

DD:  This book is going to catapult you to the top and when the film comes out, well that should take it all to a whole other level.  Are you going to be involved in the writing of the screen play for the adaptation?

MB:  Someone else is going to adapt it and I am totally OK with that because in order for World War Z to get made it is going to have to be a big movie so it is going to have to be an epic film which requires a big budget which requires a screenwriter which is trusted by the Hollywood system.  No executive, no studio is going to trust a multi million dollar movie to a guy like me who has never written a film that has been made.

DD:  What was the catalyst for writing World War Z?  Your first book, they tried to sell it off as a kind of satire but when I read it I thought it came off much more serious and World War Z is very, very serious.  There are no “tongue in cheek” moments; it’s a very serious novel.

MB:  Zombie Survival Guide was intended to be serious.

DD:  It came across that way but a lot of people took it as a joke and I was saying, no wait this guy is serious.  If these things were to happen, this book could save your life.

MB:  That was the intention but it had to be marketed as humor because at that point I was only none as Mel Brook’s son or the dude that wrote for Saturday Night Live and I understand that.  If I was in a marketing position I would have done the same thing.  But honestly the big joke about the Zombie Survival Guide is that I had the time to write it.  But World War Z has no humor in it.  Anyone who finds humor it has some serious emotional problems.

DD:  It’s very serious.  There are parts that are down right disturbing.

MB:  Yeah, there are some very, very dark aspects to it and that is what I intended just like with Zombie Survival Guide I wanted to create a world that if there were zombies, this is how you would actually survive.  In World War Z, if there was a zombie plague how would the world react to it? 

DD:  The whole political cover up and keeping it from the public, well it is just an amazing book.  I don’t know how else to describe it.  Let’s talk a little about the film adaptation.  There are a lot of rumors floating around out there, what’s the truth?

MB:  What happened was there was a bidding war between Brad Pitt and Leonardo DiCaprio.  Between their companies and the bidding war happened as soon as the advance copies were finished.  They knew about it before, don’t ask me how but somehow they knew I was working on another zombie book and the bidding war went on for, I’m not kidding, 24 hours, into the night.  My cell phone has never rang so much in its life.  It used to ring like once as week and I felt so Hollywood.  And then when the dust settled Brad Pitt won the war and his company Plan B has it. 

DD: So in your perfect world who would direct this, who would write it, star in it, if you made the calls.

MB:  Honestly, a perfect complete fantasy?  Here is whom I would have helm this project.  Irwin Allen. 

DD:  Irwin Allen.  You know what?  That is the perfect answer. 

MB:  I mean if we’re talking fantasy, let’s go fantasy. 

DD:  Nobody did the big disaster epic like Irwin Allen.

MB:  He knew how to assemble an all star cast, knew how to tell multiple story lines around a singular disaster.  Irwin Allen was the man.  If he were alive….ahhh.

DD:  Yeah, that is a great answer.  It gives me goose bumps to imagine it.  How about star power.  Do you see this as being a star magnet?

MB:  It is going to have to be big.  This just can’t be done as a small indie project.  They are going to have to get a director who has done big budget epics and A list actors.  I think it the only way to get it done.

DD:  I keep thinking Ridley Scott.

MB:  Couldn’t get any better than that.  The man who did Alien and Kingdom of Heaven.  WOW.

DD:  Well, we’ll just have to wait and see how it all works out.

MB:  Yeah, it’s not up to me so I am on the sidelines with the rest of the fans. 

DD:  The fans should just eat this book up.  Now, you’re going to be at the Fango show in New Jersey right?

MB:  Yep, I will be there.  I’ll be talking about what I do and a little about both the books.  I owe a lot to Fango as they were the first to embrace as a serious horror fan. 

DD:  You plan on keeping on in the zombie genre or branching out into other areas?  You have any fear of getting pigeon holed as a horror author?

MB:  I have no fear of being pigeon holed because I have been for my entire life.  I have been typecast as Mel Brooks’s son from the day I was born.

DD:  Yeah, a lot of the other article I have read on you just can’t help but throw your dads name in their. 

MB:  And you know it doesn’t bother me because obviously I’m used to it.  The only thing that concerns me about being labeled as his son is it might give potential fans the wrong idea and I wouldn’t want someone to pick up World War Z thinking its going to be Young Frankenstein. 

DD:  Yeah I suspect that does happen.  They just expect it to be funny because of who your dad is and it needs to be looked at in a different light.  It is a serious, compelling, disturbing look at a world gone mad.

MB:  Have you heard the audio book?

DD:  No.

MB:  Ohhhh, you’re in for it.

DD:  Is that out at the same time as the hardcover?

MB:  The audio book is out right now and Random House, God bless them because they actually put up the money to hire a full cast.  And we have got some of the greatest voices on it.  We’ve got Alan Alda, Carl Reiner, Rob Reiner, Henry Rollins, and Mark Hamil.  It’s unbelievable.  World War Z kind of lends itself to an audio book as it is a book of interviews.  When I heard it I was blown away.  I was like; hey they make my writing sound good.  (laughs)


 

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